livin' with seoul: same same but different

ok, time 2 get this show back on the road. my absence has been inexcusable, so i won’t offer up any. suffice 2 say a lot has happened in the... counting days on the calandar ... in the 48 days since my last real entry - camp ended... i went back 2 work in the ck office... i procrastinated for as long as i possibly could before eventually deciding not 2 come back 2 korea (only 2 change my mind mere hours before getting on the plane 2 leave)... i spent 2 & a bit weeks @ home not catching up with as many people as i would have liked 2 & counting myself lucky i had a job @ all (albeit one in korea)... & i have spent the last 12 days back in seoul, starting this - whatever 'this' is - all over again. yes i’m back ‘livin’ with seoul’... part ii, if you like. it is, 2 coin a well know tinglish phrase, the 'same same but different.'

'livin’ with seoul, part ii’ by the numbers

12 - days i’ve been back.

175 - days until my present contract ends (september 2nd).

177 - days until my next trip home (september 4th).

100 - days until the next camp begins (july 19th). yep, yet another camp.

6 - days until paddies day.

3 – days until seoul celebrates paddies day.

10 – days until ireland wins their first grand slam since 1948 (& only their 2nd ever). the table, as of now, makes for pleasant reading. comon' ireland!

6 – months worth of supplies i brought with me from home (toothpaste, multivitimins, deodorant... but inexplicably no tea).

24 - time, in hours, that the south korean army reserves (which includes pretty much every korean male i know under the age of 40) have 2 assemble for battle in the event of the north ever attacking. it could be all over by then guys. whoops.

66 - distance, in kilometers, the 1.1 million battle-ready north korean soldiers are from my apartment in seoul (that's how far away/close the north korean border is).

600,000 - the number of troops the combined armies of south korea & the u.s. could, @ a push, pit against the aforementioned 1.1 million crazed north koreans.

‘livin’ with seoul’ war watch

yep, those last 3 points above are real. but it's okay, cos the north koreans haven’t attacked yet. which is good... obviously. i personally think, for what it’s worth, that they are all balls & no trousers. i was asked by ken, uno & bill one night last week what i would do if war broke out.

“ohh, i dunno guys. haven’t really thought about it,” i replied.

i guess they have.

‘livin’ with seoul’ photo album

i was told when i was home that there are, get this, 2 many pictures of drunken revelry in the ‘livin’ with seoul’ photo album. umm. with that in mind i’ll be trying 2 post more ... more... struggling for a word here... more ‘suitable’ pictures.... pictures of culture, pictures in daylight, & pictures of actual koreans not named uno, bill or ken. but bear with me, ok. it could be a struggle. just a heads up.

‘livin’ with seoul’ paddies day primer

the objective of this website is cool, but i especially like how they - yanks, i'm assuming - recognise paddies day for exactly what it is - the ‘greatest holiday of the year.’

‘livin’ with seoul’ laugh

as a sure sign of the times, let me present noah’s ark, the 2009 edition.

in the year of our lord 2009, the man himself came unto noah, who was now living in the united states, & said:

'once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, & i see the end of all flesh before me. build another ark & save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans.'

he gave noah the blueprints, saying:

'you have 6 months 2 build the ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days & 40 nights.'

6 months later, the lord looked down & saw noah weeping in his yard... but no ark.

'noah!' he roared, 'i'm about 2 start the rain! where is the ark?'

'forgive me, oh lord’, begged noah, 'but things have changed!

'i needed a building permit. i've been arguing with the inspectors about it for months. my neighbours claim that i've violated the neighbourhood zoning laws by building the ark in my yard & exceeding the height limitations. we had 2 go 2 the development appeal board for a decision. it’s pending.

then the department of transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines & other overhead obstructions... you know, 2 clear the passage for the ark's move 2 the sea. i told them that the sea would be coming 2 us, but they would hear nothing of it!

getting the wood was another problem! there's a ban on cutting local trees in order 2 save the spotted owl. i tried 2 convince the environmentalists that i needed the wood 2 save the owls - but no go.

& when i started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. they insisted that i was confining wild animals against their will. they argued the accommodations were 2 restrictive, & it was cruel & inhumane 2 put so many animals in a confined space.

then the epa ruled that i couldn't build the ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood!

i'm still trying 2 resolve a complaint with the human rights commission on how many minorities I'm supposed 2 hire for my building crew. immigration & naturalization are checking the green-card status of most of the people who want 2 work.... & the trades unions say I can't use my sons! they insist i have 2 hire only union workers with ark-building experience!

& 2 cap it all, the irs seized all my assets, claiming i'm trying 2 leave the country illegally with endangered species!

so, please forgive me, oh lord, but it would take @ least 10 years for me 2 finish this ark’.

suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began 2 shine, & a rainbow stretched across the sky.

noah looked up in wonder & asked,

'you mean you're not going 2 destroy the world?'

'no,' said the lord.

'the government beat me 2 it!'

‘livin’ with seoul’ wtf? video

this video of bricklayers in bangladesh, apart from being cool, shows one of the reasons why i love asia. things just get done, regardless of resources. no unions here screaming blue murder. in saying that however i still wouldn’t like 2 call a place like bangladesh home. i doubt paddies day is a holiday there.